Dear,
We are delighted to extend our congratulations on your acceptance to the Pockies’ University of Mediocrity (UM), an institution dedicated to fostering comfort and realistic aspirations.
At UM, we take pride in celebrating a balanced approach to life, one that prioritizes ease over the constant pressure of achievement. In contrast to many institutions that elevate exceptional academic, athletic, or aesthetic accomplishments, often leading to widespread societal anxiety, we promote an environment of self-acceptance and contentment. Here at UM, we honor the value of a C-, celebrate the simplicity of store-bought mustard, and commend the contributions of the most dedicated benchwarmers.
Our mission is to cultivate a relaxed state of being for the 99.99% who are not Cristiano Ronaldo, promoting a life of calmth, comfort, and collectivism.
Congratulations on your admission, and welcome to the Comfort Family.
Sincerely,
Pockies’ University of Mediocrity
